Domestic or Feral?

If you’ve ever been called a ‘wild child’ or (a rebellious type) or how about a ‘militant firebrand of a woman’ you’ll understand that sometimes the taming of the self is sometimes just really unpleasant. What I’ve been wondering for some time is how come I can’t blend the two? Tame/wild, militant/demure, can you do that? I’ve tried plain old tame/demure, it didn’t work out all that well. I probably could blend in the wild and militant but I’m sure it’d be deemed ‘unacceptable’ on some level by someone. (Oh go ahead, ask me if I care anymore, hahaha) - no : )

You know, I can accept that on any given day there’s likely to be someone who is angry with me, someone who is very pleased with me, someone who cannot understand me at all (I bet there’s a few of these types running around, tee hee) and someone who just wants to break my spirit simply bc I am a little high-spirited.

The ‘free bird of a person’ (like me) suffers from the terror of being ack - controlled - by another…oh dear God, did I just say that out loud? F**k, that’s supposed to be a secret. But, it is true, even if we (yes, that’s the royal we) go along with the control willingly (for a time) there is that inner beast (mine is a lounging lioness when I’m lazy and a pacing growling lioness looking for an exit when I’m not lazy) and a smart partner/pal/lover (oh please, do not get me going on this…) would do well to encourage one (hee hee - me/or Ok, you) to just go be and do on your own without judgment calls about what you’re doing, how you’re doing it or any other piece of input designed to make you act a different way.

I’m not sure if that makes sense or if I have articulated this subject well at all. I have to say, once indulged without judgment I’m ready to accommodate almost anything, and the truth is my behavior while out on my own is not all that ‘wild’ or ‘rebellious’ anymore, I’ve got nothing to prove.  But, if it is, by some fluke I’m open enough to tell the story (does that count?). I guess it’s just the freedom of knowing that it’s all good with whoever is close to me is the deal.

Does this indicate that I don’t want to grow up? That’s debatable, has someone said that I already am?!

Thoughts or comments? You know the drill…Lmdevin@att.net