Self image and Wednesday : )

**responses to several comments at end ; )

On this Hump Day, our first Wednesday of October, I wanted to address self image, meaning ‘who and how we see ourselves in our minds’ eye’ and of course : ) I’d like to address it from the sexual side, just bc it’s such a large part of our being and yet it’s – what – hard to discuss? Or is it just difficult or disconcerting or just weird and strange…?

I don’t think so, oh and if you really don’t know what I’m talking about in this regard; it’s the part of us that resides in our solar plexus (and points south, tee hee, hahaha, north also, foreplay begins in the mind) and how we see ourselves and carry out our sexual persona in everyday life. Hormones play a part but so does your attitude : )

 My disclaimer: I’m no shrink or sex therapist, just a keen observer of people…mainly myself : )

The image (non-sexual and sexual) we have of ourselves is one of the most important and probably the most secretive things we carry around with us all day. No one knows all about us, they just know stories or have historical personal interaction to go by, and unless you’re intimate, people only get a very small portion of you, which is why those very intimate moments have such cool and sometimes intense meaning (or not…if you’re good life/sex compartmentalizer).

I know I’ve said it before but I almost always have a visceral make out session (and sometimes more) banging around in the back of my mind (oof, nice unintentional pun there. Yes, I’m that good). And I could ask…WHY?? Why is that always lingering there?

The truth is: I have no idea, but I would gather from what I know of myself it’s bc I love touch; touching, being touched physically (add emotionally good feelings in there and that kicks it up a notch or ten) and I just really like that feeling of being surrounded by arms, legs and hands that are bigger than mine, why should that be embarrassing or shameful? Did I say it would be just anyone or that’s it’s with every man I see? Did I say I was clingy or needy emotionally due to this touch quirk? No, I didn’t.

 Listen, I’m not going to get kinky on you (it’s only kinky the first time anyway, hahaha) and reveal any of the other things that may run fleetingly through my mind or that filter through my body but we all do that, uh…don’t we? And some of these ideas you may ‘filter’ through can maybe(?) feel  - oh – not cool to ‘go there’ and/or bring on thoughts like, ‘am I weird or ‘kinky?’

Hey look, here’s my take: it’s in your head and it’s your little daydream, or fantasy, so what’s wrong with that? You don’t have to act on it (unless you want to) or let any of it make a statement (to you) about your worth, sexually or otherwise.

Lately, I’ve been questioning all of my own beliefs about me; it’s given me greater self acceptance in general and it’s helped in extending that to others as well. Try it, you might like it : ) and you’ll find yourself blissfully non-judgemental towards others also, a nice by-product…

& you know, I’m thinking that I’m probably setting myself up for some depraved idiot to say he digs doing it with dogs or something stupid like that but that’s NOT what I’m talking about and you know it : )

More on this next Hump Day, I’ve got lots to say on this subject, as usual…

Menfolk, no questions : ( ??? aww, c’mon I want everybody to be happy, just don’t be lewd or crude when asking and I will answer bc I will do anything to help all of you and I mean it.

e me @ lillian@lilliandevin.com

Cindy and EJ, are you two together? You asked basically the same q, funny huh? So – while I don’t give ‘how to’s’ I will say this:  it doesn’t matter what I do or don’t like really, does it? I mean, we’re not intimates or pals in life (they know) - the point is if you don’t enjoy doing it, don’t do it. If you want to try to enjoy it bc your man likes it why not think about vanilla ice cream cones or bananas?  or some other phallic food that you like, hahaha…

Actually all that could probably work but seriously, while I’m sure there’s truth to the man statement ‘there’s no such thing as bad head’ it is likely to be more of a turn on if you look like and actually are enjoying the act yourself, this one is always up to personal interpretation bc if the tables were turned would you want an enthusiastic man or one going through the motions? If you’re just feeling like the act is just not your deal, why not try to dig into your psyche and your sexual beliefs and see what’s lurking there? You may discover some underlying sexual self image issues there to challenge as an adult woman. It may even start a nice open convo with your partner which may lead to all things naked and groovin’ – just a thought…

Ed, glad you like my new pic, please though - the form thing is no big, I’m not that great really, don’t get me wrong, I like me and appreciate myself but the thing is: after 5-15 minutes you have to like what someone is on about, good looks will get you just so far, understood? So, are you a little tweaked at me? Just curious, I do hope you’ll keep reading Edgy Dreamer…

Rebellious Rica, thanks for the pole dancing compliment – however – please do not send me links to porn sites again. Thank you : )